Portrait Of A Hero - Chuck

Sometimes being a brother is even better 

than being a superhero.  ~Marc Brown

This quote pretty much sums up how I feel about my big brother.  (I have 3 brothers and they are all super-heroes to me, but this is about my biggest brother.)

Chuck is about 8 years older than me, so growing up he was the typical big brother...bossy, rough, and very strong.  He could take on all 4 of his younger sisters at the same time~~~and WIN! 

When I was 8 years old, Chuck was 16, and had just been ordained a Priest and so he baptized me. When Chuck was in his early 20's, working a real job, dating, and had his own car... I was still an awkward little kid of 13. Chuck had gotten tickets to take a date to see The Carpenters in concert.  (This was BIG time entertainment back in the 'olden' days...lol)

To my surprise, he'd picked up 3 tickets; 1 for him, 1 for his date, and 1 for little annoying ME! He treated me like I was so important and that I was actually a somebody.  Now, I ask you, how many big brothers do that? 

When Chuck was getting ready to propose to a young woman he was dating, he came and asked me what I thought of her and if I liked her.  WOW! He actually cared about what I thought...

When he 'grew-up', Chuck became a Deputy for the Sheriffs office.  I was so proud when I'd tell people what my big brother did for his job.  Recently he retired.  Below are a few excerpts from the newspapers about my hero ~ my totally cool and awesome brother! (Are you starting to get the idea that I like my big brother...lol)

Ravalli Republic
Calling it a career: Sheriff department’s school resource officer retiring after 33 years



Gividen was an institution in many of the valley's schools during the course of his career, working with at-risk youth and teaching classes on everything from drug abuse prevention to military history. Gividen, now 60, said the time was right for him to retire.


"Working as a school resource officer, it's the one time in regular law enforcement that you get to be proactive instead of reactive," he explained. "Usually you pick up the pieces after it's all happened, whereas as an SRO you get to work with the kids and prevent them from doing things that can get them in trouble. That's what's rewarding, is helping kids through some of their problems before they do things that might get them in trouble. That was the greatest experience of my career, just working with kids and seeing the changes."


"They are all good kids but some of them make dumb decisions," he said "You have to help them out and hopefully change their way of thinking and way of acting. They are trying to do what is right, and seeing them excel in school and being leaders is a very rewarding experience. I definitely make sure I spend more time with the at-risk kids. You can tell what kids might be leaning in that direction, and so I will single them out, and go out of my way to talk to them, and find out their goals and ambitions and hobbies. Just talking to them makes a world of difference sometimes."


Bitterroot Star

Deputy Gividen retires

He tells of a case where a two year old child was reported missing.
“There was a canal next to the house and we all thought the worst,” he said. Gividen was the first officer on the scene. After some initial questioning, they set out to look for the child. He followed the canal, thinking it would be better for the family if he found something there.
“As I was looking along the bank, something caught my eye back away from the canal.” There was a bit of color and Gividen went to investigate. As he looked closer, he found the two year old, sleeping beneath some bushes. He gently picked the child up and started back to the house without waking the child.
“At first, when the mother saw me with the child slumped down sleeping, she thought the worst and let out a cry. But then the child sat up and mom saw everything was ok. I even had to wipe a tear away then.”


I know some of you have totally cool and awesome big brothers too, but I am so grateful that mine took me at an awkward age, and showed me how important I REALLY was.

Chuck, I love you!

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Portrait Of A Hero - Glenda Part 2

This is Part 2 of a 2 part article on my cousins wife, Glenda, and her story of loosing their only children with in a short time of each other.  Click HERE to view Part 1.

Jeremy Stephen Ferguson  9-6-78 to 7-14-00

Jeremy did not handle Justin’s illness or death very well.  He also questioned the fact that it should have been him.  I know that Jeremy could have never gone through what Justin did.  I call what Jeremy did was run from everything. 

On Nov 1, 96, one month to the day after Justin passed away, Jeremy had a horrible accident.  He was at a party with his friends and was rushing home to meet his curfew.  He hit a culvert at a high rate of speed and flipped his truck. 

Jerry, my husband, had gone to the hunting lease, and I stayed.  Our phone was out, but Jeremy’s worked.  His phone kept ringing and I didn’t answer it.  I heard a friend of his yelling in the answering machine, “Mrs. Ferguson pick up, Jeremy wrecked his truck!”  I ran to the phone and asked where he was.  I called my neighbor to go with me, and I launched my car and landed at the wreck site. 

A DPS officer yelled at me and said I couldn’t park there in the street, and I told him he could move it, because that was my son lying on the ground.  Jeremy was driving a single cab Dodge Ram PU.  He went out the back window with his feet first.  Thank goodness a friend “angel” was right behind him and knew that he needed not to move his head.  She laid on the ground and held C-spine on him, until the ambulance could arrive.

Jeremy kept telling everyone he needed to tell me something.  After we got in the ambulance, Jeremy kept apologizing to me and said he had something important to tell me.  He said that he had a dream that morning about Justin.  He saw Justin in tall green grass with his dogs. Justin was laughing and told Jeremy that he was ok.  Jeremy also said that before his wreck, he heard Justin say, I got you Jeremy, and felt arms wrap around him.  I believe that God was there because Jeremy had broken his C1 and C2 vertebrae and should be paralyzed or dead. 

When we got to the emergency room, Katherine, my sister-in-law, an EMT, was there filling out paper work for her job.  When she realized that it was Jeremy in the room, she went to the doctor to see what was going on.  When the doctor told her what had happened, she told the doctor that I had lost my other son only a month ago, so to watch for my reaction. 

Jeremy wore a “halo” for 6 weeks, and the doctors where surprised that his neck healed so fast and well. Jeremy had trouble dealing with Justin’s death, and was always “running” from it.  Jeremy had another accident but only the car was hurt. 

Then, Jeremy and 3 of his friends went to work around Waxahachie, TX,  he was coming home, but never made it.  The DPS officers knew that we had lost one son, and did not want to come bearing bad news, so they went to Katherine, my sister-in-laws house to get her to come tell us.  Adam, our nephew and Katherine’s son, was the first to know because the DPS had followed him in the driveway.  Katherine came over with 2 friends to give us the terrible news. 

Jerry and I were devastated and didn’t understand why us, what did we do?  I think we both knew that Jeremy had finally quit running, but he was also gone.  Thank goodness for wonderful friends and family.  Katherine had taken care of notifying my parents.  They sent over an ambulance to be with them.  I had my aunt, cousin, and their children with my parents.  They had come for a visit, and we had been in Galveston all day together.  This really hit all of us hard. 

My parents had lost their sons at birth, and now both grandsons were gone.  The week after Jeremy was buried, my aunt had a heart attack.  I just thought that it would never end. 

God knew what we needed, so he gave Jerry and I five foster children to love.  Haylee (13), Andre’ (11), Kristian (9), Andrew and Drea (7) came to live with us over the next 6 years.  Haylee is the only one that knew Jeremy, and he loved to take care of her.  He would take her with him and never complained about watching her. 

These wonderful children have given us love and hope for better things.  They keep us busy running and doing, but it really is nice to have all the hugs they give.  Jerry loves to take them hunting and fishing.  Actually they remind us of Jeremy and Justin at times. 

God has given us the strength to rise above the tragedies, and open our hearts and home to more wonderful times. 

Jerry and I both worked in the Fire Dept and saw many people go through the loss of a loved one.  Since we had been there, we could say some things that were comforting to them.  You never know what a person is feeling, unless you have stood in their shoes.  

God is good, and yes he doesn’t give us more than we can handle, but no one says it has to be easy. 

Losing both of our sons was devastating. I felt that I wasn’t a good parent.  I know that God has a plan for all of us, and that helped some, but knowing that our boys still had a long life they could have lived is difficult.  I still see their friends, and it is hard sometimes to watch them with their spouses and children, thinking what would Jeremy and Justin’s lives be like now.

God had a plan for Jerry and me.  Raising small children can be very time consuming, and we are at the age that we should be able to just spend time together.  We are so busy with our kids now, but I couldn’t imagine not having them.  

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Portrait Of A Hero - Glenda Part 1

My cousin, Jerry, and his wife, Glenda, had 2 sons.  Tragedy struck and both sons died with in a short time of each other.  

Here is her story: (This is Part 1, Part 2 will be posted next Friday)

Justin Mark Ferguson 1-11-81-10-6-96

In Dec 1994, Justin, (12) was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia.  This was a very devastating day for all of us. 

Justin has severe tonsillitis in Nov.’94.  The doctors had run routine blood test, but they did not come back routine.  There were indicators that we were not sure of.  We were sent to Texas Children’s hospital where they finally diagnosed the cancer.  Justin was given a 50-50 chance of survival.  We immediately started chemo and planned our stay for 30 days.  

We spent Christmas’94 in the Holiday Inn across the street from the hospital.  My husband, Jerry, my other son, Jeremy, my mom, and I tried to make it special for Justin.  Justin had so many mouth sores from the chemo that he just couldn’t eat.  Food smells made him sick, so we made sure that we ate away from him.  All he wanted was dill pickles and coke in glass bottles.  I remember driving around downtown Houston looking for them. 

Thank goodness we have a wonderful family.  Everyone took turns staying with Justin.  My dad and mom, Grady, and Nelda, would stay for a few days, and then my mother-in-law, Mary, would trade out.  Jerry and I would stay as much as we could, but it was good for Justin for a change.  My niece, Sarah, asked to take her finals early so that she could stay with him before Christmas.  Adam, my nephew, was Justin’s constant companion.

Justin went into remission after the first 30 days of treatment.  We felt blessed, but knew that this could change.  We were in and out of the hospital and clinic constantly.  I think my vehicles could go to Houston on auto pilot. Justin was put on homebound, and I was his teacher, but we allowed him go come to school when he felt like it. 

He and his dad did a lot of fishing and hunting.  My parents took him on trips to places he wanted to see.  We felt that Justin should get to do some of the things he wanted.  After a year of remission, the doctors wanted to do a bone marrow transplant.  December of ’95 this process was done. 

The doctors sat us all down and began to tell us the side effects of the total body radiation.  Justin jumped up and said “Yes, no more mama’s curse!”  The doctors just looked at him and asked what he meant by that.  Justin looked the doctor straight in the eye and said, “Hasn’t you mother ever said ‘I can’t wait until you have kids and they act like you.’” The doctor just laughed.   

During spring break of ’96, we took a trip to see my aunt in Dallas.  Justin and Adam were out riding go carts and the nurse practitioner called to say that we needed platelets.  She asked to speak to Justin, and I said, “Well, he is out riding go carts.”  Her reaction was I can’t believe you are letting him, he could get hurt.  I said, “Yes, but don’t you remember when you said that if he bumped his head he could bleed to death, and his answer was, “Well you can walk out in front a truck too”

He always had some kind of a comeback. Justin had to have his own bone marrow cleaned and frozen in case a match could not be found, and sure enough no matches.   We spent another Christmas in Houston, but at least we were all together.  Justin attended several camps with the sunshine kids and enjoyed spending time with other cancer kids.  Several groups did fund raiser to help with expenses during his illness.  The “Gypsy” motorcycle group adopted him and he loved it.

We received the dreaded phone call in August ’96 that Justin’s cancer had returned.  Justin did not want to go through treatment again, and they said that it probably would not help.  Jerry and I spent our 20^th wedding anniversary in the bone marrow transplant unit with Justin receiving platelets. 

In Sept, it flooded and Justin had to go to the hospital to receive blood, so we choose to go to St. Elizabeth in Beaumont.  When he got there he told the nurses that no one, but his Aunt Katherine, was going to stick him.  Katherine was working on an ambulance that day, so she met us there and put in the IV.    

The motorcycle group came by on Oct 2, 96 to visit with us and Justin asked to speak to “Preacher” alone.  Justin did say what he wanted to talk about to us.  The weekend of Oct 4-6, several of Justin’s friends came by to visit.  Sunday morning, Oct 6, Justin said “Mom, I talked to Preacher the other night and I know that I am saved.  I trusted in God, I just wanted you to know.  I knew at that moment that it would not be long before he was gone.  One of them (Joey) worked with Jerry and had gone fishing with Justin and Jerry several times. Joey wanted to watch a movie that Jerry and Justin had made on one of their weekend trips to the hunting lease.  Joey came out to get me and said that Justin was calling for me.  I went in a sat on the floor next to his bed and watched him slip away.  Jerry came in and sat by us, and I told Justin that it was time to go, to fly away.  We had picked the song “Fly” by Celine Dion  and “Go Rest High” by Vince Gill to play at his funeral.  Justin smiled a small smile and then left us to be with his Heavenly father.  

Click HERE for Part 2

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Portrait of a Hero - YOU

For almost a year now, I've been featuring men and women who have demonstrated courage and determination when faced with trials.  It's a journey that has brought myself and my trials into better perspective, as I hope it has for you too.


Today's Portrait of a Hero is a very special person. This person in very simple ways has made life brighter and happier because of the small daily things they do.  This person is YOU, my readers!  I want to pay tribute to YOU!


This video shows how so many small acts of kindness change lives...like YOUR small acts of kindness whether in the meaningful comments YOU leave on my posts,  your friendship outside of my blog, a HUG in a email, everything YOU have done in response to my blog has made me a better person!



Thank you for being who YOU are and for sharing YOUR goodness with me!

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Portrait Of A Hero - Janet

The Warmth of Confidence

By Janet Perez Eckles

Like an unexpected storm, a black curtain fell on my world, erasing my dreams and that of my husband and my three little boys. A disease of the retina robbed my sight. Total blindness ushered Despair that filled my night as anxiety consumed my days. Sobs blended with pleas to God for healing turned to desperation. 


Then in the midst of bitterness and anguish, I received a phone call. A friend invited me to her Christian church. I accepted with a twinge of hope, holding on to her arm, we found a seat among the congregation.


At first, Bible verses I heard rolled off my hardened heart. But then, all at once, like fresh water, a verse soaked into my parched soul. It stopped the pounding of my pain and with a mixture of power and gentleness, the verse forced me to look up, "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you" (Matthew 6:33 NIV). 


A quick sigh slipped from my lips and momentarily unaware, my sobbing stopped. What I heard entered my heart like a floodlight revealing every detail of the source of my pain-I had been consumed with the desperate desire to see again. This was my priority number one-nothing else mattered, but God instructed otherwise-to seek Him first. 


Seek Him first? But how! The answer came in one word-decision. I had a choice: to continue to sink into my sorrow or look up, open my heart and see what God would do. 


I chose the latter, I accepted Jesus as my Savior, my Lord and my all. The promise I just heard in this verse warmed me like a soft blanket removing the cold shiver of desperation. 


The miracle I hoped for was called freedom. Like opening my hand to let go the grip of a helium balloon, I pried my heart open and released my pain, my bitterness and my sorrow. 


My children saw a new Mom. And my husband showed gladness at my transformation. 


One evening, he came home and said in a singing tone, 


"I got a surprise for you.” 


"Oh should I close my eyes?" We both laughed out loud. 


I felt a square object in my hands and ran my fingers to examine it, 


"CD’s?" 


"Of the Bible," he answered. I squealed like a little girl as I clutched them to my chest, "Its better than any gift you could give me, better than a huge diamond!" I hugged him long and tight. 


The Word of God nourished my soul and placed a permanent light into my darkness. I gained wisdom to see my family with my heart and care for them with my love. 


The storm disappeared. A rainbow of hope painted across the blue skies of my life. And the sunshine of God’s love shone the light of confidence, determination and peace. 

Although blind, Janet Perez Eckles has been inspiring thousands with her writing included in 28 books, her keynote messages and recently with her #1 Amazon.com bestselling, inspirational book, Simply Salsa: Dancing Without Fear at God’s Fiesta. 

www.janetperezeckles.com 

Janet Perez Eckles Janet will have you dancing to the melody of God’s joy in her # 1 best-selling book, Simply Salsa: Dancing Without Fear at God’s Fiesta.

Website: www.janetperezeckles.com 
Facebook: www.facebook.com/janeteckles 
Twitter: http://twitter.com/janeteckles 
Inspirational Blog: www.janetperezeckles.com/blog









 

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Portrait Of A Hero - Alyssa and Erika

Today's HERO's are 8 year old Alyssa and her mom, Erika!  On her blog, door knobs & bruises, Erika shares the story of Alyssa struggle with brain cancer.

  
Click HERE to find out one little girls story of courage and an amazing Mom's discovery of God! 

About Becky Jane

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Portrait of a Hero - With a Twist

Every Friday I've enjoyed introducing you to different Heroes.  Special people who have RISEN ABOVE the challenges given them.  Today, I'm putting a twist on Portrait of a Hero. 


Throughout our lives we all have had HERO's.  The world teaches that anyone from superman to rock stars are candidates for our admiration.  Several of us consider our parents or a sibling to be our hero. 


Today, I'd like to hear who is your Hero from the scriptures...Most of us consider Jesus Christ to be the greatest hero of all time, which He is, so aside from Him, who do you admire, or wish to be more like?


My Scripture Hero Is_______________________

 Please share with me who your scripture hero is 

and why by using the comment box! 

My Heroes are found in the Book Of Mormon.  2000 young men go to war against the wicked Lamanites and none of these young men are killed.  All of them attribute their success to their mothers, who taught them to have faith in Christ and never doubt.  I love these young men and their Moms!

About Becky Jane

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Portrait Of A Hero - Kris Part 2

Last Fridays Portrait of a Hero was 2 videos that focused on a blind woman named Kris. Her humor brightened our day.  She also gave us a new insight on how to look at our challenges.  I only knew her from seeing the same videos you saw.  Upon doing some further research, I found she has a blog and is a published author...this woman just keeps getting more and more amazing! 


Here is a quote from her blog:

“Trials and difficulties can, if we let them, become holy places—places where we can feel the power of the Atonement in our lives. Our struggles can be consecrated to our good and growth, and you and I can become more like Christ.” 
—Kris Belcher


On the lighter side, read her post Ready - Egg - Fire!


I invite you to visit her blog Hard Times and Holy Places.  You will discover just how great each one of us really are!


Kris has also consented to do an Authors Interview with me which will be coming up in the future!  She said she would share her email magic and anything else we want to know!

  About Becky Jane

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Portrait Of A Hero - Hind Sight...video

This woman is hilarious...great example of how to 'Rise Above'

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Portrait Of A Hero - Kathy

Today’s hero is Kathy Radigan, author of My Dishwasher Is Possessed blog.

I had a delightful time doing a phone interview with Kathy.  It’s a lot of fun to hear the voices of some of my favorite blog friends.  While visiting with her, I began to see how important ATTITUDE is in dealing with the trials we face in our lives.  As you read about Kathy, I hope you will see what I’m talking about.

Kathy  has been married for 18 years.  It took a while for them to have children (you can read about her 4 miscarriages on her blog).  She is now the mother of 3 kids and all of them have health issues.  As Kathy puts it, “My life is crazy and great…I love it.  My kids give me purpose in life!”

Her oldest son is 12 year old Tom.  Tom has Dyslexic issues with sensory problems.  He is not fully autistic.  “I did a lot of calling to people and specialists to help with Toms issues.  We didn’t send him to a special school. It was right for him to attend a regular class so he could learn not to fear.  Tom is a bright child.  He has a mind like a sponge…the encyclopedia type of knowledge. He asks great questions,   and works really hard. Tom has his challenges but does really well.”

While I was interviewing/visiting with Kathy on the phone, I could hear Tom in the background.  I asked Kathy if he wanted to talk to me and we had a fun little visit that went something like this:

Me – Tell me about your family.

Tom - It’s good being in the family. 

Me – What do you like to do in school?

Tom – I’m having a big concert at school.  I’m in the chorus. 

Me – What kind of music do you like?

Tom - I like the Beetles. 

Me – You have a pretty cool Mom!

Tom - I love my mom and I like her blog. 

Lizzy is 9 years old.  “When she was 6 wks old, I realized something not right.  We started going to specialists to see what was wrong.  Lizzy didn’t fit into any one category, so the doctors thought her condition was temporary.   She was not consistent with other case histories.  She would progress and then slide back, then start progressing again, retaining everything she had learned before.  For a long time she wouldn’t talk and we wondered if she could, the she surprise us one day by speaking intelligent, and complete sentences.”

Kathy talked about how as a mother, she would stay up nights wondering what they might be missing. Did Lizzy have food allergies? Was there something they were not noticing that would account for Lizzy’s condition?  The hardest to manage would be Lizzy’s mood swings.  She could go 24 hours without sleeping, she would have intense screaming fits and then come out it and be fine. 

Finally, they found a Child Psychiatrist at Columbia Hospital.  “This doctor took time with us, studied the symptoms and found that Lizzy fit closest to the bi-polar model.   She is on meds now to help her get control.  Along with the bi-polar, Lizzy has seizures and is growing too fast.  At age 7, her body was that of a 12 year old. A lot of the time Lizzy lives in a fantasy world.  Sometimes she is with us and sometimes she’s not.”

Kathy and her husband spent a long time dealing with “a whole lot of fear and no answers…But everything is holding right now.  I used to think that if a child has this and this wrong, then we should be able to know why…but we don’t know why.  It’s amazing to not have a diagnosis and be able to join clubs where we can talk to other parents dealing with the same issues.   Instead of asking myself am I doing something wrong as a Mom?  Is there something I can do to change this? I understand that at this point, this is where we are."

Peter is 6 years old and Kathy calls him her secret wish child.  “He is the comic relief in our home and gets along well with everyone.  He is strange but part of the family cause we’re all strange.  He is creative in building things…the only family member that is gifted in this area.   Peter is very visual, and has Spectrum quirks. 

Sometimes he would come home  and would get frustrated and hit…If Peter had been my first child, I would have a hard time with this, but after raising Tom and Lizzy,   I understand that this is not a problem…it’s a challenge and we’ll get through it. Nothing really throws me anymore. This is just who we are, we all have something and it just works.   I deal with it using humor.”  (If you’re familiar with Kathy’s blog you’ll know what I’m talking about!)

Kathy has some very wise advice for you…

“Go with your gut feeling if you feel something is wrong/right don’t let others sway you.  Stand up for yourself and your kids in a helpful way.  You will not always know what it is, but you have a certain feeling…go with that feeling.  Trust in your mother’s intuition.  Force the doctors and teachers to look at the whole child not just the test scores.   Doctor’s, grandparents, aunts and uncles, teachers, and friends, all have their opinions, but trust your gut feelings.

Have FUN!  I get upset and cry, just like everybody else, this is normal. Every child will come up with something different.  As a parent we are to guide kids on their road, but it’s their road and they have to live it.  Pain helps us learn…its messy, its sticky and then you move on.”

About Becky Jane

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Portrait of a Hero - Sarah

Today's article is from Accepting and Embracing Autism: Sarah is the mother of 5 children and deals with several different challenges with her children and herself.  I invite you to read her post and see how she has 'Risen Above'!

From what Mum tells me, her pregnancy was normal, I was born a day early and she had a normal labor. I met all my milestones, even walking at 10 months old. It really wasn't till I reached school that mum noticed I was struggling. I was lucky that I actually went to a really small primary school where there were only 8 kids in our Grade, plus it was a country school, so maybe kids aren't as nasty. I don't remember having too many problems with friends, at Primary school. When I was 5 years old mum and dad bought a General Store which served everything from fast food to petrol. So growing up in a shop I regularly had to deal with people, by the time I was 10 years old I was working in the shop, and I suppose through this I learned lots of social skills.

I remember having problems with textures of certain foods. I also remember having trouble looking at people in the eyes and keeping things to myself. When I was 10 there was an incident where I was talking to my friend who lived next door and telling her about this girl who worked in the shop and didn't want her dad to know. Dad over heard me and later had a go at me about it and said I had a big mouth. I remember that so distinctly and because I felt guilty for what had happened, I think from that time on I had anxiety about saying too much, but I always had problems when people told me that it was a secret and not to tell anyone. It was really hard for me to keep it to myself. I would feel like I was going to burst.

Also around the time I was 10, I was especially struggling with a certain part of school, where we had to watch a TV program about news and take notes and then write a report. I had lots of problems transferring in to writing the information from what I heard and then writing the report. Mum decided to take me to the doctors to get me checked out, as I was still wetting the bed. He did an eye test and I mixed everything up. So he suggested that I go to see a pediatrician. He got me to do a writing test and thought that it would be a good idea to see an occupational therapist. When I was tested by the Occupational therapist it showed that my muscle tone was about 5 – 6 years behind what I should be.

At High school as I was going into puberty, I started to notice that I didn't really fit into any one particular group. I had sort of friends, but not really close friends. I would hang out with different groups of friends at different times. I also found that I got on with girls that were either older or younger than me. I never really had a boyfriend other than a brief period in Grade 8 when a boy who was Grade 10 liked me and wanted to go out. I didn't really understand how this worked and didn't know how to talk to him. So I decided to break up even though we didn't even really talk. Once that happened, I became really infatuated with him and did some really stupid things.

I also found silence hard to deal with so when I was around those who I felt intimidated by I would talk lots. I also would smile lots especially when I was in trouble or if something stressful was happening. People often misinterpreted this as me not really taking the situation seriously.

By the time I got to Grade 10, I was doing really bad in Maths that Mum decided to get me extra help to help me pass….Mum decided to send me to a Catholic All-Girls school for year 11 and 12 in Toowoomba where I would catch the bus in every day. There I didn't have to do Maths and Science. I wasn't planning on going onto Uni when I finished. Half way through year 11 mum and dad moved over to the Sunshine Coast which was about a 3 hour drive from Toowoomba. This meant I had to go into boarding school. I found that I was even intimidated by girls who were 3 years younger than me. I tended to say things that made me look stupid and silly.

I made it through high school somehow and passed most of my subjects. I got a job at KFC and started a course doing Fashion design. Around that time my dad had a started to have a break down due to undiagnosed PTSD. In the May 1995, I turned 18 and just wanted to start going out to nightclubs. I hadn't ever really drunk before then. I also didn't smoke and wasn't rebellious. But when I turned 18, I knew I was allowed to do what I wanted so I started going out regularly which my dad wasn't very happy about. He also would get upset about the way in which my room was (which I was very messy) but I didn't think that he had much right to go in there cause I was paying board.

One day I got home from work and dad had decided to go in there and threw all my stuff out of the room in a big pile. He had done this over the years at different times when things got to stressful. I had had enough of living with this so decided to move in with friends from KFC. Because dad felt guilty over this he then tried to over dose on tablets and ended up in hospital.

Once I was out of home I started smoking pot, getting blind drunk and going out every night for 3 months straight. Most nights I would end up at some guy's... I sort of went really wild. It became so bad I dropped out of TAFE and then left my job at KFC. I then had a falling out with the roommates and so I moved down to Brisbane with my Grandmother. I applied for a job at Woolworths Supermarket in the fruit and veg section the January, 1996.

I had no friends and was lonely so I started going out to night clubs by myself and meeting up with guys there. I sometimes would go out on a Friday night and not turn up till the Monday. My poor Grandmother would be so worried (I have since apologized heaps of times).

I worked at Woolworths for about 6 months before looking at getting a job doing door to door sales. It was there that I met James. I had just turned 19 and he was turning 22. I was only working there for a week when we started going out… 6 months later we got engaged and then 6 months after that I fell pregnant in the April. I worked a few different jobs before we had Joshua in the January of 1998. We got married on 11th July 1998, the day before James birthday.

I had a miscarriage when Joshua was about 8 months old. I always thought I would fall apart if that had happened but I seemed to cope really well and just dealt with it. I then fell pregnant not long after and had Nicola at March, 2000. Matthew arrived on 4 August, 2002... I then had another miscarriage when Matthew was about 18 months old. Samuel was then born on 10th December, 2004…. 3 years later Jessica arrived at 33 weeks. James and I have now been married for 13 years…

After Matthew and Samuel were both diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and Matthew also with ADHD, I found that reading the information I seemed to relate to the traits. Not so much with the male traits but finding information about females with Asperger.

I have always had a strong faith in God and as I have gotten involved in the recent years and been baptized about 2 years ago, I found that some of those traits I don't suffer with any more. I am a lot more confidant in who I am and what I stand for now. I found that when I had kids that it helped me to be able to relate to others and give me something to talk about. I have learned to ask lots of questions and find out information. I plan to go to University in a few years and study Psychology to learn more about ASD and help children in schools cope better.

My greatest influence and inspiration has been my mother. She has always been there to support me and is forever trying to help me. She has been at the birth of each of my children and organized my wedding.

Here are the traits for Females with Asperger.

Emotional/Physical:
 Emotionally immature and emotionally sensitive
 Anxiety and Fear are predominant emotions
 Strong sensory issues – sounds, sights, smells, touch, and prone to overload
 Problems with Ibs
 Stims to soothe when sad or agitated: leg bouncing
 Prone to meltdowns when things over stimulated by sensory or emotional
 Hates injustice and hates to be misunderstood;
 Prone to mutism when stressed or upset, esp. after a meltdown.

Social/Relationships:
 Words and actions are often misunderstood by others
 Will shut down in social situations once overloaded, but ok to socialize in small doses. May even appear to be skilled, but it is just a performance
 Doesn't go out much. Will prefer to go out with partner only or children if she has them
 Will not have many girlfriends and will not do 'girly” things like shopping with them or have get togethers to hang out
 Will have a close friends in school but not once adulthood is reached
 If in a relationship, she probably takes it very seriously
 If she likes a male, she can be extremely, noticeably awkward in her attempts to let him know, e.g. she may stare when she sees him or call him repeatedly. This is because she fixates and doesn't understand societal gender roles. This will change with maturity

Appearance/Personal Habits:
 Dresses comfortably due to sensory issues and practicality
 Will not spend much time on grooming and hair. Hairstyles usually have to be 'wash and wear'. Can be quite happy not grooming at all at times.
 Is youthful for her age, in looks, dress, behavior and tastes
 Thinks of herself as half-male/ half-female (well – balanced)
 May not have a strong sense of identity especially before diagnosis
 Usually happiest at home or in other controlled environment

Intellectual/giftedness/education/vocation:
 May have had obvious learning disabilities
 Often musical, artistic
 May be high educated but will have had to struggle with social aspects of college May have one or many partial degrees
 Can be very passionate about a course of study or job and then change direction or go completely cold on it very quickly
 May have strong talents
 May have strong interests in computers, graphic design, things of visual nature. May gravitate to writing and psychology
 Highly intelligent yet sometimes can be slow to comprehend due to sensory and cognitive processing issues
 Will not do well with verbal instructions – needs to write down or draw diagram
 Will have obsessions.



About Becky Jane

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Portrait of a Hero - Lisa

My Hero for today is Lisa from: I'm All A Twitter About Life .  She is a women I look up to and admire.  We met over at voiceBoks , and soon became great friends... this is her story:

In February of 2009 I started to feel ill. My heart was racing with chest pain and palpitations and I constantly felt like I was going to pass out.  I initially thought I was having episodes of low blood sugar which was causing these symptoms and tried to manage them without relief. 

For months we did not know what was going on with me. My doctor automatically thought it was anxiety, despite my explanations to her that the tachycardia, shortness of breath, nausea, lightheaded, tremors and disorientation, were occurring on movement. 

I was sent to numerous specialists including Cardiologists, Gastroenterologist, Neurologists, Pulmonologist and Endocrinologist and had countless procedures and tests. 

Privately I was going through many more repercussions from this unknown disorder. My supervisor had visited me earlier in the month and stated that I couldn't use anymore sick time until the following year. In other words my job was potentially in danger because I was sick. In March 2009 I stopped working all together.  I felt alone, worthless and with no income. 

My doctors were stumped. They didn't know how to stop my symptoms; I was called names like "Zebra" and was told that it must be anxiety or depression, among other things.  

After a year and a half the Cardiologist and Neurologist both agreed that I probably had some form of Dysautonomia and Autonomic Dysfunction, however they didn't know how to treat it.  So they sent me to the University of Washington Neurology Clinic. I had to wait 4 to 5 months before I could see my new doctor. My appointment was in October 2010 and it was at that time that I was finally diagnosed with Hyperadrenergic Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. 

I am so grateful for my Neurologist and the Neurology Clinic at the University of Washington. Without them I probably would have lost all hope. Trials of medications are still on the horizon as we have yet to find the right combination to manage the multitude of symptoms. However, I feel very fortunate to have found my doctor and that he knows how to treat this condition. 

Image via Wikipedia

The Autonomic nervous system controls everything that is on automatic; heart rate, respiration, digestion, blood pressure, urination, and even your pupils! It is comprised of the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems. The second is responsible for the fight-or-flight response. Lately that has been one of the symptoms that they have not been able to control. I feel like I have a tornado and a hurricane raging inside my body. 

Just standing for a few minutes will cause these symptoms to exacerbate. The heart rate increases, I get out of breath, lightheaded, palpitations, and nauseated just after the first few minutes I stand up. The brain fog, lack of focus and memory loss has been a challenge. After 30 years of nursing I no longer can remember basic things. Words just do not come as quickly as I would like them to! 

Having to depend on people to take me places has been a humbling experience. I used to take for granted all the freedoms I used to have, which are gone for now. 

I will not lose hope or give up. Now I enjoy each day the best I can. We make the best of it. My granddaughter now knows that she has to ask Grandpa to run with her or play hide and go seek. Maybe I can no longer pick them up and spin them around or dance, but I can have them on my lap and we can read or watch movies together. 

 Grace and I

 Adia, Grace and I

At times I do get frustrated with people who do not understand and have the mindset, "If you don't look sick then you must not be sick" mentality.  Having to explain to people over and over why I can't do something is frustrating. Even going to my primary doctor's office has been exasperating. I think I may scream if I hear the nurse say one more time, "Oh your heart rate is really high"! 

The sensations inside my body are at times indescribable. Trying to cope with changes that you can't control can be difficult at times. Sometimes I don't think I handle it very well. 

My husband has been my rock during all of this. I am not sure how I would be able to deal with day to day activities if I didn't have him with me. 

Rick and I two years before I got sick in Europe

On most days you can find me at home on either my bed or my couch with my laptop by my side.  I have started to make wonderful friends through Social Media.  I may not be able to get in my car and go out for a cup of coffee but I have been able to establish great friendships online. I have also met other P.O.T.S sufferers on the The Dysautonomia Connection Group on Facebook. 

Through that group I have found that I am not alone. Others have had to go through years of investigations, doctors, misdiagnosis and tests before they were finally diagnosed correctly. This condition is not well known in the medical community.  I would like to thank Becky Jane from Rise Above Your Limits for allowing me to spread the word about P.O.T.S.

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Portrait of a Hero - Hazel

A woman legally blind reading on the average of 6 books a month?...That's my visiting teacher Hazel!  Once a month Hazel and Belinda come and visit me to see how I'm doing and to share a gospel message.  We visit, laugh, and share our testimonies!  

Today's HERO is Hazel!  She was born with Optic Atrophy .  In Hazel's own humorous terminology, "I was born with Senior citizen eyes."  From the age of 6-17 she lived at a blind school 3 hours away from her home.  Coming home on weekends to enjoy family life with her Father, Mother, and 5 brothers! 

At school she learned Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic.  At home she learned how to punt a football, ride a horse and Scouting!  As you can tell Hazel's brothers had a big influence on her.  Her brothers taught her to love football and she is a big BYU  and Utah State football fan!  Jokingly she say's that she cheers for both teams unless they play against each other...then she admits to cheering for BYU!

Hazel is not one to sit around and wait for things to happen. Teaching herself to play the organ by ear is a great accomplishment of hers!  Laughing, she says the closest she's ever gotten to driving a car was in the bumper cars at the local amusement park.  There she could drive to her hearts content and never had to worry about who she bumped into! Also, while serving a 1 year mission for the LDS church, in another state, she came across a Book of Mormon written in Vietnamese.  She said she could read the first verse without any problems at all.  Then snickering, she says everyone has the first verse in the Book of Mormon memorized!  Her sense of humor keeps everyone on their toes at our church.

It doesn't take long for people to realize her strong testimony of the Savior and the Prophet Joseph Smith.  Pretty soon you come to know her deep love for our country and 'the freedoms we do enjoy'; and how she appreciates those men and women who defend our countries freedoms.  Being grateful to have been born in America is a blessing she understands and appreciates. Another virtue Hazel possesses is a strong love for her family and the youth.  Never marrying, her 5 brothers, sisters-in-law, 16 nieces and nephews, and 45 great nieces and nephews keep her busy, as she knows where they all are and what they are doing.


Hazel shows the same interest in the youth that live in our Ward (congregation).  Whenever I see her, she asks about my older kids and what's going on in their lives. If you want to know what's going on with our youth, Hazel could probably tell you!

For those of you who are familiar with the Book of Mormon, you'll love to hear that Hazel has decided that in the millennium, she's going to marry one of Helamans Stripling Warriors! (Helaman was a Nephite Captain living in the Americas about 64 BC that led 2000 young men into battle many times but because of their faith, none of them were killed).


Next week Hazel will celebrate her 58th birthday.  She has used her years well in living a life that has uplifted the weak and brought laughter to the hearts of many!  




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